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The insider’s guide to the city

BESPOKE CITY

A meating frenzy at Borough Market

July 31st 2011

Sarah Coffey via http://beanandgone.org

In the interests of full disclosure you should all know that I was brought up on a beef eating, sheep shearing, kangaroo culling farm in central New South Wales. Yes we got to play with cute and cuddly little white lambs, but we also got to eat them (it was a win win situation). I therefore feel it is my obligatory duty to support the industry that put bread (or lamb chops) on our family table. And what better place to do so than at Borough Market.

Just a quick word of warning for all my celery munching friends out there…it’s probably not a great idea to visit the Borough Market. It’s not that you are being discriminated against….being a vegetarian is a legitimate lifestyle choice (like wearing short sleeved collared shirts), plus it means more meat for me. It’s just that I feel you will be more comfortable away from the feeding frenzy that turns respectable family folk into blood-slurping, meat ripping carnivores, enjoying an endless stream of magically delicious animals, prepared in every way imaginable.

I went on the recommendation of a fellow Aussie whose partner in crime is a trusted meat enthusiast. Upon first arriving I was somewhat disappointed…

Ummmm where is everyone????

But after a bit of exploration I struck gold and before I knew it, I had deployed my first meat-seeking missile…on a roast turkey, cranberry, gravy and stuffing baguette some unfortunately proportioned Englishman was about to chow down.

I made the brave (stupid) decision to approach the Englishman amidst his eating frenzy (David Attenborough would have advised me against this) and asked him where he made his kill. He sized me up, decided I was not a threat and without having to compromise the position of his food to his mouth, flicked his head in the direction of the roast turkey stall.

It took me a good 30 minutes to hunt down this stall. It was a long 30 minutes as well, and required every bone in my body to not go for the easy, but less satisfying meal of a freshly squeezed juice or falafel wrap, but I managed to hold out.

And holy crap was it worth it. Just to put it in perspective, if the sacrifice of this turkey meant that twelve orphan chickens were left fending for themselves…I would be okay with it. Not to mention the gravy, stuffing and perfectly golden toasted baguette it came packaged in. Food like this makes being fat worthwhile.

Meat-seeking missile

Okay, away from my own personal eating escapades and back to pure Borough Market bliss…

These little fishies are equally as surprised as I am about just how great the markets are!

They look sad and hungry at the same time. Easy emotions to confuse.

Call me perverse, but I find these cubby pig faces kind of cute…

Little chubby cheeks

I’ve never been much of a romantic, but I would choose this bouquet of meat over flowers any day.

I would marry the man who gave me this on Valentines Day

Too much? Okay fine. Here are some good, honest vegetables for you all.

But don't fill up on these...

If only my parents could have seen me today. Boy, would they have been proud. I single-handedly ate my way through enough meat to put at least two farmers kids through school…with enough cash left over to buy them a drink as well. Lucky they breed us tough in the country.

Visit the meating place for yourself

Something’s are best seen to be believed and Borough Market is just one of them. The best way to get there is via the Tube, getting off at London Bridge or Borough stations. Just follow the signs…or hoards of hungry people and you should find it pretty easily.

The Market is open on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, with Saturday being busiest after 11am. The sensible shopper gets there between 8am and 10am for the pick of the day.

Bon Appétit.

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